最近筆者正在試圖不用英詩的格律和押韻方式來譯﹐以達意確切簡潔為主﹐當然詩行也要考慮有一定的起伏。僅舉一例﹕詩經選譯“有美人兮，見之不忘，一日不見兮，思之如狂。”英譯如下﹕
There's a beauty, wow﹗
Can't forget once seen.
If not see her for a day, oh,
I'll go mad thinking of her.
第一行中﹐連“兮”字也譯作wow。看到這麼一個美人﹐當然會發出驚嘆wow。第二行簡潔到頭了﹐再也不能少一詞。第三行用oh 來譯那個“兮”。第四行這個 I 不能省。第二行中 I 可以不要﹐因為任何人會“見之不忘”﹐但第四行中不可能人人“思之如狂”的。這裡只能是個特定的人﹐當然是寫這節詩的人﹐即 I。這首譯詩裡沒有多一詞﹐也沒有少一詞。
b﹐英譯中
再看古典英詩如何譯成中文詩為好。聽說曾有人把莎士比亞的劇本譯成中文的京劇唱本形式﹐肯定比譯成白話文句子要難。這也是高難度的自我要求。而本人也儘量採用中文詩裡的古典形式來譯古典英詩﹐以求得相應的一致。第一首原詩為﹕Dirge Of Love by Shakespeare
Come away, come away, Death,
And in sad cypress let me be laid;
Fly away, fly away, breath;
I am slain by a fair cruel maid.
My shroud of white, stuck all with yew,
O prepare it!
My part of death, no one so true
Did share it.
Not a flower, not a flower sweet
On my black coffin let there be strown;
Not a friend, not a friend greet
My poor corpse, where my bones shall be thrown.
A thousand thousand sighs to save
Lay me, O where
Sad true lover never find my grave,
To weep there.
譯詩如下﹕題為“愛之輓歌”
無常爾來矣﹐置我于柩床。一息已云絕﹐殺我乃姣娘。
麻絰與紫衫﹐速備慎毋忘。無人愛我深﹐乃肯殉我亡。
竟無一好花﹐撒余靈柩旁。竟無一良朋﹐吊余埋骨場。
不須為余泣﹐葬余在遐荒。親友無覓處﹐免其徒悲傷。
譯詩採用五言古風形式﹐當然沒有平仄﹐只押韻。譯詩基本上譯出原詩之意﹐雖非每字緊扣﹐因為如果不把中英詩對照來看﹐以照顧中文譯詩為主﹐使譯詩讀上去更像中國古風詩。第二首為莎士比亞的十四行詩。
TO HIS LOVE by Shakespeare﹕
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate;
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime to hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimm'd.
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wanderest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest.
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
譯詩題為“致其所愛”。譯詩如下﹕
我欲將君比夏晝﹐君更嬌艷更媚柔。疾風吹搖五月蕾﹐夏日苦短行矣休。
時或驕陽何炎炎﹐常見金烏遭遮掩。美人之美易消逝﹐偶失天奪亦可憐。
君之常夏永不逝﹐君之花容能久駐。閻羅終未拘君去﹐不朽君因不朽句。
世間有人眼能瞵﹐我詩長存君並存。
譯詩基本上扣住原詩的意思﹐且用了十四句﹐每句對應于原詩的一行。翻譯詩無法再用平仄。能用上平仄的﹐一定是巧合。否則就會意思不能緊扣。筆者認為扣住原意是最要緊的﹐能押韻尚在其次。能否符合平仄律﹐則純看是否能巧合了﹐不必強求。譯詩首四句押一個韻。第二個四句押另一個韻。第三個四句押另一個仄韻。最後兩句押韻。“瞵”字本是“鷹瞵”之意﹐這裡借用來作“人眼看”。按國內出版的“新編詩韻”﹐屬十五痕﹐可與“存”字押韻。譯詩又要達意﹐又要押韻﹐不太容易﹐只能照不同的韻書押。總算有個根據而已。如果最後兩句不求押韻﹐用個“視”來代替“瞵”﹐則較自然。現在再看一首無名氏的詩﹐如下﹕A DILEMMA
Lady, when I behold the roses sprouting,
Which clad in damask mantles deck the arbors,
And then behold your lips where sweet love harbors,
My eyes present me with a double doubting:
For viewing both alike, hardly my mind supposes
Whether the roses be your lips, or your lips the roses.
這是一首英文中較古的詩。這裡稍作些提示﹕第二行中“clad”是“dressed”的意思。“which”是指“roses”﹐後面的“deck”是動詞﹐“裝飾”之意。“double doubting”意為“雙重懷疑”。譯詩題為“雙關詞”（原語意為“雙關語”﹐用“雙關詞”可帶有古意）﹕
美人兮余見薔薇開﹐開絢爛兮綴亭臺。觀卿脣兮撩人情懷﹐余目惑兮費疑猜﹕
彼同此兮余竟莫知﹐薔薇卿脣兮抑卿脣乃薔薇﹖
譯詩每句對應原詩各句﹐基本上表達了原詩的意思﹐因無法用五言或七言來譯﹐所以只能用騷體（即仿屈原“離騷”之體﹐故稱“騷體”）。譯詩前四句押一個韻﹐後兩句押另一個韻。所以中文譯詩該採用的體裁﹐根據不同情況而定。下一首詩為﹕COUNSEL TO GIRLS by R. Herrick
Gather ye rose-buds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles today,
Tomorrow will dy dying.
The glorious Lamp of Heaven, the Sun,
The higher he's a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer he's to setting.
That age is best which is the first,
When youth and blood are warmer:
But being spent, the worse, and worst
Times, still succeed the former.
Then be not coy, but use your time;
And while ye may, go marry:
For having lost but once your prime,
You may for ever tarry.
原詩中ye是you的古體﹐“a-”是代替一個介詞用﹐表示“正在”的意思﹐是古典英詩中常用的形式。中譯如下﹐詩題譯為“勸女于歸”﹕
採採薔薇﹐及彼未萎﹔日月其邁﹐韶華如飛。
今夕此花﹐灼灼其姿﹔翌日何如﹐將作枯枝。
朝暾炘炘﹐燦若天燈﹔其光熠熠﹐載耀載升。
彌高其行﹐彌短其程﹔日中必昃﹐言曛言暝。
年當破瓜﹐妙齡之佳﹔精血方盛﹐及春年華。
一旦虛度﹐將自怨嗟﹔韶光如舊﹐爰征以遐。
勸汝莫羞﹐及花仍稠﹔採之拮之﹐覓一良儔。
韶華易逝﹐歲月難留﹔良辰一誤﹐永無好逑。
筆者把此英詩譯成四言的詩經體形式。英詩的每行譯成兩個四言句﹐並按詩經體的要求押韻換韻﹐也儘量採用詩經中的用語形式﹐使譯詩也帶有盎然古意。至於現在譯者把不管是古典英詩或現代英詩﹐一律譯成現代白話體新詩形式﹐容易是容易了﹐風味就消失殆盡。不過﹐如果白話文譯得精練些﹐有節奏感﹐又押韻﹐倒還可取。 |
发表于 2009-8-11 18:35:20
楼主