云天：歌曲中译: You Must Love Me

引用 云天 2011-2-12 06:46 PM

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引用 云天 2011-2-12 08:20 PM

本帖最后由 云天 于 2011-2-14 06:40 PM 编辑

Love's Secret
William Blake

Never seek to tell thy love,
Love that never told can be;
For the gentle wind does move
Silently, invisibly.

I told my love, I told my love,
I told her all my heart;
Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears,
Ah! she did depart!

Soon as she was gone from me,
A traveller came by,
Silently, invisibly
He took her with a sigh.


爱的秘密
威廉姆.布莱克
云天  译

切莫试图诉说爱情,
爱情永不可言;
如微风拂过
静无声,悄无踪.

爱脱口而出, 爱脱口而出,
我向她倾吐心声;
她颤抖,发冷,惊慌失措
唉! 她离我而去!

她与我分手后片刻,
一个旅人路过,
静无声, 悄无踪
一丝叹息, 携她而去.

引用 云天 2011-2-12 08:20 PM

本帖最后由 云天 于 2011-2-12 09:05 PM 编辑

你见或者不见我
仓央嘉措

你见，或者不见我
我就在那里
不悲不喜

你念，或者不念我
情就在那里
不来不去

你爱，或者不爱我
爱就在那里
不增不减

你跟，或者不跟我
我的手就在你手里
不舍不弃

来我的怀里
或者
让我住进你的心里
默然　相爱
寂静　欢喜

一并搬来从前在某译站玩时两位高手的佳译.

1.
You See Me or Not
by Tshangs dbyangs Rgya mtsho
Tr. Yuntian

You see me or not
I’m right there
Neither sad nor happy

You miss me or not
Feeling is right there
Neither coming nor going
       
You love me or not
Love is right there
Neither increasing nor decreasing

You follow me or not
My hands are  in yours
Neither releasing nor leaving

Please come to my bosom
Or
Let me dwell in your heart
Love in secret
Rejoice in silence



2.
You Would or Would Not Meet Me
Original poem by Tshangs dbyangs Rgya mtsho, Tr. Iceiron (铁冰)

You would or would not meet me-
Simply there is I
Never sad nor pleased.

You would or would not miss me-
Simply there is affection
Never coming nor going.

You would or would not love me-
Simply there is love
Never increasing nor decaying.

You would or would not go with me-
My hands simply belong to yours
Never betraying nor changing.

Please just come to my embrace
Or let me dwell in your heart-
Wordless with love
And silent with joy.


3.

You Meet Me Or Not
by Tshangs dbyangs Rgya mtsho (Sixth Dalai Lama)
Tr. Wuxinjian (无心剑)

you meet me or not
I am right there
neither sad nor glad

you miss me or not
my passion is right there
neither comes nor goes

you love me or not
my love is right there
neither rises nor falls

you follow me or not
my hands put in yours
neither part nor forget

come into my arms
or let me in your heart
love each other in silence
with happy fragrance

引用 云天 2011-2-12 09:09 PM

本帖最后由 云天 于 2011-2-12 09:10 PM 编辑

再搬一首应景:

那一夜，我彻夜聆听梵唱
仓央嘉措

那一夜，我彻夜聆听梵唱，不为参悟，只为寻你的一丝气息；
那一天，我终日咏诵经文，不为得道，只为倾听你的深情；
那一月，我转动所有的经筒，不为超度，只为触摸你的指尖；
那一年，我磕长头拥抱尘土，不为朝佛，只为贴近你的温暖；
那一世，我走遍十万大山，不为修来世，只为途中能与你相见。

1.
Bcheng (海外逸士):
各位譯法各有千秋。現在我把各人優點收集在一起﹕

On that night, I listened to the chanting of sutras overnight, not for enlightenment, but to seek for a wisp of your breath;
On that day, I chanted sutras all day long, not for being godlike, but to hearken to your deep affection;
In that month, I turned round all the cylinders holding sutras, not for nirvana, but to touch your fingertips;
In that year, I kowtowed and embraced the earth, not to worship the Buddha, but for being close to your warmth;
In the other life, I treaded all over the Myriad Mountains, not for reincarnation, but to meet you midway.

2.
云天:

That night, I listened to the chants till dawn, not for perception, but to seek a wisp of your breath;
That day, I recited verses throughout the day, not for enlightenment, but to listen to your affection;
That month, I turned all the scripture tubes, not for rebirth, but to touch your fingertips;
That year, I prostrated myself to embrace dust, not to worship Buddha, but to cling to your warmth;
That life, I treaded all over ten myriad mountains, not for reincarnation, but to meet you on my path.


3.
老瓦（ＷＯＡ）：

That evening, my ears were but on the hymn, for no musing but a breath of your being
That day, my voice was but on the chant, for no awakening but a steal of your feeling
That month, my hands were but on the wheels, for no rebirth but a tap of your fingers
That year, my Orz was but on the dust, for no worship but a touch of your warmth
That long life of mine, my feet were all over the mountains, for no afterlife but a briefing with you midway

4.
赏石：

At night, I am alerted to the intonation, not for enlightening, but snese of being
At day, I am endlessly reciting the scripture, not for being saintly, but flow of love
For months, I am turning every prayer wheel, not for heaven, but to hold on your finger tips
For years, I am embracing the earth on the road of pilgrimage, not for the holy, but the closeness of the warmth
For life, I climbed mountains after montains, not for the etnernity, but an opptunity of encountering midway

5.
八十一子：

That night, I listened to the chanting till daybreak, not seeking awakening but the whisper under your breath
That day, I prayed till sunset, not asking for enlightenment but the feel of your compassion
That month, I turned all prayer wheels, not in quest for nirvana but the tenderness of your fingertips
That year, I prostrated to embrace the dirt along my pilgrimage, not for worshiping the Buddha but a touch of your warmth
That whole life I had, I searched ten thousand mountains, not for a path to reincarnation but the chance to meet you on the paths

6.
gz：

That night, I listened to the chanting till daybreak, not for awakening, but to feel a puff of your breath
That day, I prayed through out the whole day, not for enlightenment, but to seek for your love
That month, I turned all prayer wheels, not to purify my soul, but to touch where your fingers touched
That year, I prostrated to embrace the dirt along my pilgrimage, not to worship the Buddha, but to feel your warmth
In that whole life I had, I searched through all ten thousand mountains, not for reincarnation, but wishing in vain to meet you again!

引用 ms_lt 2011-2-13 05:55 PM

这么多精彩的译作，不知道先赞哪个了，但俺细细品来。。。

引用 语婷 2011-2-14 02:53 AM

本帖最后由 语婷 于 2011-2-14 02:54 AM 编辑

云天，
真好啊～～《你一定要爱我》的那几版，我都喜欢！！
真的很感人，尤其是意译的。

未经你允许，我准备搬一两版去我的空屋子。。。俺正在那里感叹爱情呢～
这译诗也太点睛了。。。好吗？

先谢谢你。。。并祝情人节，快乐～～

引用 云天 2011-2-14 06:52 PM

本帖最后由 云天 于 2011-2-14 07:46 PM 编辑

多谢常乐兄评分!   

梦丝妹妹, 都是些旧译, 拿来应景的.  
多谢妹妹捧场.     还请才女妹妹不吝指正.

婷子, 意译的确蛮有趣的.
比方歌中的 "you believed in me, I believed in you"
直译不过是"你相信我, 我也相信你. "  细细品味,  应当是高山流水的境界吧.
美人喜欢, 偶受宠若惊.   请随意搬.  
另线帖容我晚些回.

祝大家情人节快乐, 诸事美好.

引用 云天 2011-2-14 06:53 PM

请二位美人听歌:
<br><br>
<br>


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