试译：罗伯斯特的诗 A Minor Bird；Blackbird--The Beatles;

云天

后院 D.W. 的 英文诗《 Claim the Sky》好cute：

Claim the Sky
D.W.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Down his narrow cage he opens his throat
The caged bird sings through his bars of rage
Waiting for this moment to be free
Sings of freedom, thinks of another breeze
And the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
His shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
Through the sighing trees
Into the light of the dark black night
Blackbird fly, blackbird fly
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

愿D.W. 的黑鸟早日飞上晴空！：）

==================================

读过之后忍不住匆匆译了罗卜霜的小蓝鸟一诗。
每当看到鸟儿在空中嬉戏，听到林间婉啭的啁啾，心中就升起一曲欢歌。


The Last Word of a Blue Bird
Robert Frost

As I went out a Crow
In a low voice said, "Oh,
I was looking for you.
How do you do?
I just came to tell you
To tell Lesley (will you?)
That her little Bluebird
Wanted me to bring word
That the north wind last night
That made the stars bright
And made ice on the trough
Almost made him cough
His tail feathers off.
He just had to fly!
But he sent her Good-by,
And said to be good,
And wear her red hood,
And look for the skunk tracks
In the snow with an ax-
And do everything!
And perhaps in the spring
He would come back and sing."


蓝鸟最后的话
罗伯特。佛罗斯特
云天译

我走到户外，一只乌鸦
低声说，“啊，
我刚才正找你呀。
你好吗？
我正要来告诉你
请你转告莱丝丽（行吗，你？）
她的小蓝鸟啊
让我捎个话
说昨夜的北风
明亮了星辰
让水槽结了冰块
害得他差点咳起来
连他尾巴上的羽毛都掉了，唉。
他只有飞上天！
但他要向莱丝丽道再见，
叮嘱她做听话的孩子，
戴上她的红帽子，
留心臭鼬的行迹
在雪地里要拿着斧子—
做所有的事！
也许春暖花开时
他会带着歌声重回故地。“


=========================

顺便再贴上小女的旧诗凑兴。

A  Little Jay
By Tabby Cat  in 2007

Once I saw a little jay
By winterwinds it was swept away.
And to me, it did say,
" Tweet--a--tweet!
I want to go home and eat!"
So for many days we searched and searched
On snow white birch and the redwood tree
Till we came to an old oak tree
And the jay shouted, "It's my home I see!
Tweet--a--tweet
Now I can go home and eat!"

A year went by and then I hear
A voice that sounds familiar
"Tweet--a--tweet,
Do you want to come and eat?"

The Lark Ascending
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKz6XJlI_jk

云天

见解

"也许春暖花开时
他会带着歌声重回故地。"

That's the hope, I guess. :)

"A year went by and then I hear
A voice that sounds familiar
"Tweet--a--tweet,
Do you want to come and eat?""

小公主诗意盎然. :)

The only thing I recall when my daughter was young (I happened to look over her shoulder ) related to a bird, is in a little project called " Book review: To kill a Mockingbird " ...

Later I "looked" again and asked:  you girls are still .... taking that long?

云天

Yes, Frost's poems always make readers think further.

Thanks for your kind compliments.  :)

I'd say To Kill a Mockingbird is not an easy read for young kids.  

My girls don't want to grow up yet.  :)

D.W.

云天，诗不是我写的，是我家小孩用Beatles 的歌拼凑出来的，我觉得很好玩，就收
藏于日志里。不会上油管，以下是其中一首的歌词。

The Beatles- Blackbird with lyrics

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free
Blackbird fly
Blackbird fly
Into the light of a dark black night
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

D.W.

云天，喜欢读你翻译的 罗伯特。佛罗斯特诗。
你女儿是位小才女。短短几句，此事此景，此情此意，栩栩如生。

云天

回复 5# D.W.

云天

回复 6# D.W.

谢谢好歌， 好词好曲。 有空一定译了送过去。 ：）


谢谢 D.W. 光临前院！  
也谢谢你的美言。 ：）
小女有一段时间很喜欢写诗。现在好象更爱写故事。


我瞧见了你诗末的note，你的孩子很有创造性呢。
一直想译罗伯特。佛罗斯特这首温馨的诗。 真要感谢你呢。 ：）

D.W., where is Arthur?  
有兴趣一起来译呀。  有砖也尽管送。 ：）

Wish you and your family a wonderful holiday season!  

fancao

云天好福气，有个好女儿。
欢迎DW。

云天

回复 9# fancao

谢谢仙草版主！    感恩。

是啊， 请D.W. 常来。 偶常加分。 ：）

D.W.

回复 7# 云天

Good one, thanks!

D.W.

回复 9# fancao

Thanks for welcome, fancao!

D.W.

云天or anybody, please try to 译.

A Minor Bird
Robert Frost

I have wished a bird would fly away,
And not sing by my house all day;

Have clapped my hands at him from the door
When it seemed as if I could bear no more.

The fault must partly have been in me.
The bird was not to blame for his key.

And of course there must be something wrong
In wanting to silence any song.

回复  D.W.

谢谢好歌， 好词好曲。 有空一定译了送过去。 ：）


谢谢 D.W. 光临前院！  
也谢 ...
云天 发表于 2009-12-7 10:04 PM

云天

回复 13# D.W.


又见D.W., 开心！  

"A Minor Bird",  好极！  遇见爱鸟人了， 握手！
一定会试着一译,  抛砖。  ：）


把“Blackbird" 抱上来给你过目， 不行再改。 ：）
真的好喜欢这首歌。 有缘。 久违了， 曾经的理想主义！

多谢D.W.!  



The Beatles- Blackbird with lyrics

黑鹂
云天译

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

暗夜沉沉黑鹂歌唱
以断翼不断尝试飞翔
一生一世
你等待这一刻冲上九天

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free

暗夜沉沉黑鹂歌唱
以倦眼学看世态炎凉
一生一世
你等待这一刻自由翱翔

Blackbird fly
Blackbird fly
Into the light of a dark black night
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

黑鹂飞
黑鹂飞
飞入漆黑的夜光
暗夜沉沉黑鹂歌唱
以断翼不断尝试飞翔
一生一世
你等待这一刻冲上九天
你等待这一刻冲上九天
你等待这一刻冲上九天

云天

回复 13# D.W.

D.W.,   我也喜欢弗罗斯特的诗， 同好！  
他的诗一般都有隐含的寓意。 我按照自己的理解译了。并遵循每两行押韵的格式。
匆忙一译， 抛砖引玉。 请你同各位指正。 先谢！


A Minor Bird
Robert Frost

一只小小鸟
罗伯特。弗罗斯特
云天译

I have wished a bird would fly away,
And not sing by my house all day;

我巴不得那只小鸟飞跑，
别在屋旁唱个没完没了；

Have clapped my hands at him from the door
When it seemed as if I could bear no more.

他有时真让我无法忍受
我就在门边朝着他拍手。

The fault must partly have been in me.
The bird was not to blame for his key.

我肯定不能把过错推光
单单责怪小鸟荒腔走板。

And of course there must be something wrong
In wanting to silence any song.

想让任何歌声销声匿迹
那必然是藏有什么猫腻。

D.W.

回复 14# 云天

Wonderful. You are just so talent. I like it very much.
Forever The Beatles!

D.W.

回复 15# 云天
最初看弗罗斯特的诗，是小孩根据老师的要求借了他的诗集带回家看。就像你说的，
他的诗中总包含着寓意。你翻的很有味，在我看来挺不错了。也许可以进一步精雕
细琢，可惜我只会欣赏。

云天

回复 16# D.W.

D.W., thanks for your kind encouragement.

Yes, "forever the Beatles. " :)

潇潇雨

每当看到鸟儿在空中嬉戏，听到林间婉啭的啁啾，心中就升起一曲欢歌。


The Last Word of a Blue Bird
Robert Frost

As I went out a Crow
In a low voice said, "Oh,
I was looking for you.
How do you do?
I just came to tell you
To tell Lesley (will you?)
That her little Bluebird
Wanted me to bring word
That the north wind last night
That made the stars bright
And made ice on the trough
Almost made him cough
His tail feathers off.
He just had to fly!
But he sent her Good-by,
And said to be good,
And wear her red hood,
And look for the skunk tracks
In the snow with an ax-
And do everything!
And perhaps in the spring
He would come back and sing."


蓝鸟最后的话
罗伯特。佛罗斯特
云天译

我走到户外，一只乌鸦
低声说，“啊，
我刚才正找你呀。
你好吗？
我正要来告诉你
请你转告莱丝丽（行吗，你？）
她的小蓝鸟啊
让我捎个话
说昨夜的北风
明亮了星辰
让水槽结了冰块
害得他差点咳起来
连他尾巴上的羽毛都掉了，唉。
他只有飞上天！
但他要向莱丝丽道再见，
叮嘱她做听话的孩子，
戴上她的红帽子，
留心臭鼬的行迹
在雪地里要拿着斧子—
做所有的事！
也许春暖花开时
他会带着歌声重回故地。“

云天 发表于 2009-12-6 01:59 PM

每当看到云M在诗海游弋，鸟儿在空中嬉戏， 心中就升起一曲欢歌。 (ZT)  忍不住唱和。  : )  
好可爱的小蓝鸟。

The Last Word of a Blue Bird       蓝鸟最后的话  
Robert Frost                                 潇潇雨译
                                                  
As I went out a Crow                    当我外出
In a low voice said, "Oh,               一只乌鸦低声对我说“啊，
I was looking for you.                    我刚才正在找你
How do you do?                            你好吗？
I just came to tell you                    我是来告诉你
To tell Lesley (will you?)                你能否告诉莱丝丽
That her little Bluebird                    她的那只小蓝鸟
Wanted me to bring word              想让我带句话
That the north wind last night         昨夜的北风
That made the stars bright             让星星闪亮
And made ice on the trough           冰结上了水槽
Almost made him cough                  几乎使他咳嗽
His tail feathers off.                          他尾巴上的羽毛也落掉
He just had to fly!                             他只能飞逃！
But he sent her Good-by,                 但是他向莱丝丽告别
And said to be good,                        告诉她做个乖宝宝
And wear her red hood,                    戴好她的小红帽
And look for the skunk tracks           留心别被臭鼬撞到
In the snow with an ax-                      在雪中带上斧子
And do everything!                             所有的事情都能做好
And perhaps in the spring                 也许他还会回来歌唱
He would come back and sing."        当春天再次来到”

潇潇雨

A Minor Bird
Robert Frost
小小鸟
潇潇雨译

I have wished a bird would fly away,
And not sing by my house all day;

我真想让那只小鸟远远飞离
不要整日在我房前唱个不息

Have clapped my hands at him from the door
When it seemed as if I could bear no more.

我站在门前向他拍手
当我一刻也不能忍受

The fault must partly have been in me.
The bird was not to blame for his key.

这多半是因为我的过错
不能责怪小鸟声调高低

And of course there must be something wrong
In wanting to silence any song.

想让任何歌声寂静无息
那一定是哪里出了问题


顺向仙草版主（云天语），： ）  DW小妹妹问好.  谢谢带来的好诗。

云天

回复 17# D.W.

谢谢D.W.!  

是， 我们常常会受到孩子的影响。 ：）

我读过一些弗罗斯特的诗，也译过几首。 很喜欢他的诗。
读他的诗通常要揣摩 the hidden meanings behind the lines， 然后定下基调，其余的就是玩文字游戏了。 但未必能够理解到位。
有时为了压韵，对意思就有所取舍。 当然这归结于功力不够。

昨晚忙完来读这首诗，意犹未尽，一瞧就八行，就匆匆译了。 离“精雕细琢”差得远。 ：）

今晚有些忙，匆匆再试一回。 先摆在这，容我细想。
D.W., 请砸砖。 偶很皮实。


A Minor Bird
Robert Frost

一只小小鸟
罗伯特。弗罗斯特
云天译

I have wished a bird would fly away,
And not sing by my house all day;

我但愿那只小鸟快飞跑，
别在屋旁从早到晚喧噪；

Have clapped my hands at him from the door
When it seemed as if I could bear no more.

有时没法忍受心烦意乱
我只好在门边朝他击掌。

The fault must partly have been in me.
The bird was not to blame for his key.

我肯定得承担部分过错
不能责怪小鸟唱得离谱。

And of course there must be something wrong
In wanting to silence any song.

若企图让任何歌声消失
那必定是藏有什么猫腻。。

云天

回复 20# 潇潇雨

高兴雨妹来唱和。
容我慢慢读。 陪老大读书，忙里偷闲上来涂两句。

晚安！  

fanghua

94！

云天好福气，有个好女儿。
欢迎DW。
fancao 发表于 2009-12-7 10:10 PM

云天

回复 23# fanghua


   
芳华， 上帝给我一杯苦咖，总得加块糖吧？  ：）

温馨芳华节日快乐！  

云天

回复 20# 潇潇雨

And of course there must be something wrong
In wanting to silence any song.

想让任何歌声寂静无息
那一定是哪里出了问题

昨晚与雨妹擦肩而过。
雨妹好译！   到位。

云天

回复 19# 潇潇雨

所有的兴趣都丢完了， 如今也就剩下这涂两笔的乐趣。
雨妹好才华，请常来同游“诗海”。    

And said to be good,                        告诉她做个乖宝宝
And wear her red hood,                    戴好她的小红帽
And look for the skunk tracks           留心别被臭鼬撞到

雨妹好译！ 很有童趣。

这首诗很温馨。 春天时我就想，等秋冬时节再译。 多亏 D.W. 小姑娘提醒。 ：）

云天

三译。 ：）  请D.W. 检验。 ：）

A Minor Bird
Robert Frost

一只小小鸟
罗伯特。弗罗斯特
云天译

I have wished a bird would fly away,
And not sing by my house all day;

我真希望那只小鸟飞走，
别在屋旁整天唱个不休；

Have clapped my hands at him from the door
When it seemed as if I could bear no more.

有时我好象真没法忍受
就只好在门边朝他拍手。

The fault must partly have been in me.
The bird was not to blame for his key.

部分过错我肯定得分担
不能责怪小鸟五音不全。

And of course there must be something wrong
In wanting to silence any song.

若是企图抑制任何歌声
肯定什么地方出了毛病。

D.W.

回复 20# 潇潇雨

喜见小小鸟引来一位才女，你和云天，各有各的风采。

D.W.

回复 23# fanghua

谢谢芳华欢迎！

D.W.

回复 28# D.W.

云天还真的在“精雕细琢”，没耽误你别的事吧？我个人认为三译胜过二译。谢谢你！

云天

回复 30# D.W.

我哪会“精雕细琢”呢。 一盏茶的光景。

谢谢D.W.!  
那么这首歌就先暂且到此。

你这么一提甲壳虫（还是披头士更顺耳？ ），我又匆匆译了另一首。
这就另开一条线。
http://www.tianyaxiaozhan.com/bb ... amp;extra=#pid73244