金发女郎乘飞机

云天

昔日闲地一角，名“牛师”者对金发女情有独钟，joke of the day, 必言 blonde.
某日欧胡诌了一段牛师与金发女在餐馆的艳事.    今贴于此凑兴，静观另线逸士大师的擂台赛。  



Last Friday night, Mr. Beef had a date with Miss Blonde.

Beef waited and waited, and finally, Miss Blonde showed up with eye-catching mini skirt. Beef couldn't help smiling.

They waited in line outside to get into Red Lobster. After 15 minutes, they were in the restaurant, but still had to wait to be seated.

Another quarter hour passed, they followed a handsome young waiter and sat down at a table in a corner, waiting to order dishes.

While waiting, Beef told Miss Blonde the jokes he wrote on CND, but she couldn't get it and didn't laugh at all.

Then a blond waiter came and took their order.

Of course they had to wait for another half and hour for their dishes.

The food was not bad, quite tasty actually. But Miss Blonde accidentally spilled her drink onto Beef who sat too close to her.

At last, they finished the meal, but had to wait for the dessert. It was too sweet for Beef's decayed teeth and he had to pass it. Miss Blonde loved dainty food. The rainbow sherbet was just delicious. She gave Beef a delightful smile, sweet as the ice cream.

Now Beef needed to wait to pay the check.

"What, 200 bucks ? " He couldn't believe it, his face turning a bit pale.

"Oh, you need to pay the tip to the waiter as well. " Miss Blonde gently reminded him.

" I thought I was the waiter tonight. " Beef grumbled,  about to lose his patience.......


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牛师的笑话：
fabaliu wrote:

One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi."
The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me."

So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."

老瓦

Here is another one:))

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A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

云天

Here is another one:))

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A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went t ...
老瓦 发表于 2009-10-10 09:26 PM

Blondes laying sod?     

I wonder if you are Beef's twin brother.  

见解

一定有趣，太晚了，没气力砸了。  Good Nite。

云天

一定有趣，太晚了，没气力砸了。  Good Nite。
见解 发表于 2009-10-11 03:16 AM

砖家JJ来了。 欢迎！

砸砖不分早晚。 请！  

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A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"

云天

再添个joke.  

Proudly showing off her newly-leased-downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night, the slightly drunk blonde led the way to her bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall.

“What’s that big brass gong for?” one of the friends asked.

“Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking clock,” she replied drunkenly.

“A talking clock—seriously?”

“Yup.”

“How’s it work?” the second friend asked, squinting at it.

“Just Watch.” She picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back.   The three stood looking at one another for a moment in astounded silence.

Suddenly, a voice from the other side of the wall screamed, “For God’s sake you stupid monkey, it’s ten past three in the freaking morning!”.

“You see, it’s a talking clock”, said the smashed blonde.  

fancao

还有一个：
金发女郎要去拉斯韦加斯，上了飞机，一屁股坐在头等舱的座位上。空姐让她回到自己在经济舱的座椅上去，金发女郎不肯，说，那个位子不如这个舒服，
空姐没办法，也不能强行拉她，只好去找机长。机长想了想，对金发女郎说了一句话，她就立刻跳起来跑到后边去了。空姐很奇怪，问机长用了什么魔法，机长说，我告诉金发女郎，这个舱不飞拉斯韦加斯，后边那个才去呢。

云天

谢仙草版主的笑话。笑了，有没有小一岁，不知道。 ：）

都爱取笑金发美女，酸葡萄心理？  
But blondes aren’t as dumb as we think:

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was an attorney and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?” Not one hand went up… so she took them home and ate them.